FEEDBACK: Burzum Burgers

Well, concept number one came to fruition. As firework-crazy madness overtook Chicago with the sunset, we Clams and some friends sat out on the porch, waited for the coals to reach an ideal temperature, and made preparations for our metal-themed feast.


We had successfully procured a hunk of head cheese (pictured above) from a local Polish deli, and taste-tested it around the group - consensus: it wasn't disgusting; tasted a bit like corned beef in fact, but with a more gelatinous texture.

And so the Burzuming began.

RECIPE
Burzum Burgers
For the patties, we combined equal parts spicy Italian sausage and ground beef. Then added eggs and rolled oats until we reached the desired consistency, then, to taste: dark molasses, salt, pepper, garlic.

Once grilled, we toasted the buns with slices of provolone, and topped the burgers with mayo, mustard and avocados - and of course liberal slices of head cheese.

As it turned out, we were all pretty happy with these burgers. The patties came out very well, but beyond that the head cheese was a nice, if hilariously excessive, topping. Fun to try. Kuma's Corner can buy this from us any time they want.

RECIPE
Clams Corn Pone
We also grilled up some of our classic corn - which we prepare by making a paste of butter, garlic, queso cojito, salt, pepper, and either chopped basil or cilantro. Roll the corn ears in the butter mixture, grill (it's nice to let the flames get excited for a few minutes, then cover the grill and let the corn smoke a bit). Then when the ears are done, put them on a plate and sprinkle them with lime juice and chipotle or cayenne pepper.

Last but not least we prepared a 4th of July favorite - Jalepeno Boner Bites. We don't remember why they got their name, but just bear with me here, because it's a good recipe.

RECIPE
Jalepeno Boner Bites
Soak some bamboo skewers in water prior to starting. Then take your jalepenos, cut the stems off, halve, and de-seed. Fill the jalepeno halves with cream cheese, wrap each half with a strip of bacon, and skewer. Grill these on a relatively low-heat grill (the bacon grease will reignite even a very calm fire). Let the skewers get a bit flame-kissed, but then you'll probably want to cover the grill so things don't get out of control.

Boner Bites, fresh off the grill:
Burzum prep station:
Burzum vision:

..........exactly..........

The Long-Awaited Clams Food Blog!

That's right. The Clams are pioneering a recipe for braised Bassman. Hope your taste buds can handle it.

As a band, we remain entirely committed to things like playing and recording music, but we feel that we've really set the bar for exceptional band eating. One of our favorite band memories involves a day spent recording in Brett's garage (also known as Electrical Audio #2) while taking occasional breaks to tend to the duck stock on the stove. After about 10 hours of stocking (and rocking) we took a significantly longer break to make duck a l'orange for dinner. Booyah!

So, that's an example (okay, maybe the pinnacle) of the way we Clams like to roll. We pretty much can't be together without cooking delicious things and spontaneously creating face-melting, drone-infused rock operas.

So, today's the 4th of July. Something special must be cooked. It's rainy out, but we don't anticipate this hampering the grilling. A significant amount of consideration has gone into today's meal. So what's on the menu? Burzum Burgers.

By way of explanation, here's a quick bio on the band Mayhem:

Formed around 1985 by Necrobutcher and guitarist Euronymous (born Oystein Aarseth), Mayhem was the first death metal band from Norway to make much of an impact in their homeland, which in the early '90s developed a burgeoning underground scene rife with violent, sometimes anti-Christian activity -- as evidenced by Mayhem's non-musical history. Drummer Hellhammer, who at one time worked in a mental hospital, is the only remaining member of the band's prime-period lineup. Lead vocalist Dead committed suicide in 1991 (two years after joining the band) by shooting himself in the head; Hellhammer made a necklace using some of his skull fragments, and Euronymous reportedly cooked and ate pieces of Dead's brain.

Soooo... all that happened. Oh right, and then eventually the bass player (Count Grishnackh) stabbed Euronymous to death because he was jealous of his evil, brain-eating reputation. And then the Count when to prison, for, you know, murder. But he started a solo project entitled Burzum, which is coincidentally the name of the fast food restaurants featured in the show Metalocalypse.

And what have we gained from all this bizarre musical history? Well, in short - Burzum Burgers. Currently the plan is to make some pretty standard burgers (although we may opt for a turkey/chorizo mix rather than beef), and then procure some head cheese for slicing and topping the burgers with OR we may pull the butcher aside and see if there's any actual brain meat available. If that were the case we could make a saute with some onions and beer perhaps... And then top the burgers with that.

This is a pretty high-concept first recipe, and we do realize that there's a good chance that it won't taste great. But, we'll report back on the results.

Take that, Kuma's.