The Long-Awaited Clams Food Blog!

That's right. The Clams are pioneering a recipe for braised Bassman. Hope your taste buds can handle it.

As a band, we remain entirely committed to things like playing and recording music, but we feel that we've really set the bar for exceptional band eating. One of our favorite band memories involves a day spent recording in Brett's garage (also known as Electrical Audio #2) while taking occasional breaks to tend to the duck stock on the stove. After about 10 hours of stocking (and rocking) we took a significantly longer break to make duck a l'orange for dinner. Booyah!

So, that's an example (okay, maybe the pinnacle) of the way we Clams like to roll. We pretty much can't be together without cooking delicious things and spontaneously creating face-melting, drone-infused rock operas.

So, today's the 4th of July. Something special must be cooked. It's rainy out, but we don't anticipate this hampering the grilling. A significant amount of consideration has gone into today's meal. So what's on the menu? Burzum Burgers.

By way of explanation, here's a quick bio on the band Mayhem:

Formed around 1985 by Necrobutcher and guitarist Euronymous (born Oystein Aarseth), Mayhem was the first death metal band from Norway to make much of an impact in their homeland, which in the early '90s developed a burgeoning underground scene rife with violent, sometimes anti-Christian activity -- as evidenced by Mayhem's non-musical history. Drummer Hellhammer, who at one time worked in a mental hospital, is the only remaining member of the band's prime-period lineup. Lead vocalist Dead committed suicide in 1991 (two years after joining the band) by shooting himself in the head; Hellhammer made a necklace using some of his skull fragments, and Euronymous reportedly cooked and ate pieces of Dead's brain.

Soooo... all that happened. Oh right, and then eventually the bass player (Count Grishnackh) stabbed Euronymous to death because he was jealous of his evil, brain-eating reputation. And then the Count when to prison, for, you know, murder. But he started a solo project entitled Burzum, which is coincidentally the name of the fast food restaurants featured in the show Metalocalypse.

And what have we gained from all this bizarre musical history? Well, in short - Burzum Burgers. Currently the plan is to make some pretty standard burgers (although we may opt for a turkey/chorizo mix rather than beef), and then procure some head cheese for slicing and topping the burgers with OR we may pull the butcher aside and see if there's any actual brain meat available. If that were the case we could make a saute with some onions and beer perhaps... And then top the burgers with that.

This is a pretty high-concept first recipe, and we do realize that there's a good chance that it won't taste great. But, we'll report back on the results.

Take that, Kuma's.